Publisher’s Weekly

Gopin’s guide transcends many self-help books by drawing on his two decades of experience in the field of conflict resolution worldwide, including the Middle East, Northern Ireland and Africa. ‘Destructive conflicts’, he writes, ‘are based on primal emotions and cannot be solved by rational discussion and negotiation. They call, instead, for addressing and healing feelings of dishonor and humiliation, which in turn requires self-examination and spiritual growth.’ Using wide-ranging anecdotes, Gopin presents eight primary steps, including recognizing the emotions at the heart of conflict, learning how to listen to all sides of an issue, setting goals that represent the future needs and desires of all parties and keeping dialogue open and ongoing. He illustrates how these principles can be applied in work situations, within family relationship and in local community dynamics. Gopin addresses how differences in politics, religion, gender, race and personal beliefs can serve as catalysts for conflict and how one might approach delicate situations with understanding so that opportunity for conflict is reduced. Though the eight steps are summarized with simple words (Feel, Understand, Hear, etc.), Gopin’s solution is not a simple or easy one–but it is psychologically and spiritually grounded, compassionate and compelling.

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